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ohhhh life
Jul. 5th, 2010
05:19 pm - I platonically digress
"In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding there what I’d been missing,
But I know…
So I tell myself, I tell myself it’s wrong.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.
Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it could live. I walked away now.
But I know…
Not a day goes by that I don’t feel this burn.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.
All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long,
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.
All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out."
Oct. 11th, 2008
12:39 am - beacuse it all needs to go somewhere
i'm petrified about loved ones finding out that there is a chance its too late
then i'm worried about having my cyst removed AGAIN only to have it grow back after i lose all of the weight AGAIN and the cycle never ending
i'm worried about not being able to find a new job after the baby
i'm worried about not having life insurance and not being able to get it now
i'm worried dad won't make it another year at this pace
i'm even worried that i won't paint or write again
and i hope it all changes in 8 weeks
Jan. 1st, 2008
01:16 am - new year? new life.....i know
2007
i'm so very sorry that it blew up the way it did
please believe me
2008
life is not over
i don't want to be dead to you anymore
Sep. 28th, 2007
11:44 am - cheesy. NOT tacky.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery:
"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."
Amy Tan:
"I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever."
indescribableAug. 20th, 2007
05:37 pm - life is beautiful
i couldn't even dream up something
this wonderful
too good
and completely
true
:)
lovedMay. 31st, 2007
11:51 pm - true or not....
whoever you are
knock it the fuck off
thats not right
or fair
Apr. 12th, 2006
oddApr. 5th, 2006
09:27 pm - does.........
anyone have twin peaks? for me to borrow for a few days? paaaaaaleeeeeease?
Jan. 26th, 2006
08:28 am - midnight contemplation
I have a tattoo of shooting star on my back for a reason. This star symbolizes how I feel about myself and who I hope to be. I want to be that split second of hope in your life, I want to pass and leave only the most beautiful of impressions. I want your brief moment with me to last a lifetime. I don’t want you to forget.
At one point in my life someone very dear to my heart said “Alison, you were born to help people. You have the strength, the heart and the passion. It is who you are.” And I really believed that but I thought maybe it was because I just wanted to believe that. I wanted to believe that this was my gift.
And that dream had not died, but without a doubt it was left on the back burner. I couldn’t handle the party scene because I felt like it wasn’t mine. I struggled, but couldn’t handle the veterinary work because I felt like I could do more.
And I have spent years devoting my time to a person I loved because I felt they needed me so they could move on in life and help them to live their dream.
Well tonight, I have never seen more clearly my own strength, and I have never understood better why I have struggled and how I have struggled.
Tonight I give myself credit for trying different paths and moving on. For loving hard and giving hope. For smiling when I needed to and laughing when I wanted to. For crying when it was my time to hurt and for screaming when I needed to be heard. I give myself credit for loving the ones who hurt me and for getting up when I fell down.
Tonight I know where I want to go in life. I know what I need to do and I don’t regret a decision I have ever made. I never have and I never will.
Tonight I thank everyone who I have shared even the briefest of moments with.
Thank you Michelle, for being so compassionate.
Thank you John, for being my family.
Thank you Dad, for giving me my kindness.
Thank you Mom, for giving me the space I needed to grow.
Thank you Ian, for supporting me no matter how far apart, and for truly caring.
Thank you James, for having faith in me and for being my shooting star.
Thank you Brian, for all of the growth,letting me love you and for hurting me so deeply. (Sincerely)
Thank you Mr. Jewett, for knowing me better than I knew myself.
Thank you Grandma, for being so strong for me.
Thank you Jack, for the laughter and hugs.
Thank you Carolyne, for being a role model (we all need one of those).
Sincerely all of you. The bands I’ve seen, the people who have laughed at me, and with me. The people who have cried on me and the people who I have cried on.
Thanks for all of the hugs.
And I thank myself for wiping my tears away with the people who I love.
Forever and Always.
∞ Al
calmJan. 18th, 2006
08:35 am - so it begins
on to mediocrity and kindness...
for lack of a better alternative.
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